The Well

     Our inner strength, that deep well of grit that we have come to depend on. There are times when I've had to dig deep into that well, times that I have scraped the bottom and come up with less grit then I felt I needed at the time. Sometimes I have felt like my well of strength is dried up, nothing left, that the only choice I had was to just hold on, to stay my position. My strength isn't really all used up, I've just lost sight of it. In the jumbled mess of my thoughts, my emotions, my anxiousness at what I am going through at that moment my focus on my inner strength becomes obscured. Time to step back, breathe, readjust my position. Plant my feet and square my shoulders. Regain my focus on that inner strength. Keep having the faith to move forward, even if it is just baby steps.

Believe

As A Child

     Remember when you were little? As a child you believed. Believed in fairies, princess', leprechauns and all the other things that lived in your imagination. Sometimes your imagination went wild. When this was me, my mom gently steered me back to reality and then would show me the wonders of the world around me. The magic that was happening right in front of my nose in my own back yard. Did anyone ever have that scary something under the bed or in the closet in your bedroom at bedtime? I did and once more my imagination was running wild. Again there was my mom coaxing me back to reality. Assuring me that I was never alone. Sharing with me that I had someone special in my heart. All I had to do was believe and trust that He was there. He was Jesus. My Jesus. My strength and my courage to keep the scary monsters at bay and I wasn't alone. Wow! That was so awesome for me to think that in my head as a child. It is so easy to forget this as a grown up and my "grown up monsters" get the best of me. Here is when I need to go back to that place I knew as a child. Back to Him. Back to the place that faith is waiting for me.

No White Flags

Strength Journals

Rest In Me

     This past week has had me looking back over the past two years that our little family has lived through. They have been two years full of constant adjustments and new challenges. Why these two years and not other years? These two years are growing years from a year that brought our family some of our greatest challenges. We realized that in spite of these seemingly insurmountable and overwhelming challenges how tremendously blessed we were. We continue to be tremendously blessed even though we meet new challenges. I remember back to the feelings of great despair, suffocating anxiety and the feeling of being lost in a dark sinking oblivion-not knowing what to do or what to think. Broken but knowing that none of these feelings were an option at that moment in time. I had to rise above. I had to breathe. I had to think. Here is when I found myself in the only place that made any sense. On my knees! The only place I could find that was quiet and secure for my jumbled messy thought filled brain and the only place I could find rest for my weary and heavy heart was prayer. I knew it was time for me to quit trying to carry all of this on my inadequate shoulders and instead lay all of this in the capable strong arms of my Jesus. He knew I had bared all I could at that moment and he was there ready to carry all of my jumbled mess, all I had to do was give it to Him. Release trying to control it all and lay it on Him. By faith. Faith that I didn't think I was capable of having......but when the time was right He showed me. I had finally become receptive to His quiet prodding- "Rest in me."

Don't Be Afraid

Wildflowers

     Have you ever noticed wildflowers before? Really noticed them. These are some of the most intricate beautiful flowers I have ever seen. Their details are absolutely amazing. The many colors and neat little folds and shape of the petals and their leaves. Have you noticed that they grow just about anywhere? Wide open meadows, rock crevices, up from under fallen trees and right along side the road. Sometimes you can find them popping up in the yard and flower beds and even in the veggie garden. These wildflowers grow where ever their seeds have landed. They have no qualms about soil or fertilizer or quantity of water. They grow strong and hearty where they are. Maybe we should take our cue from the wildflowers. We each have our own individual beauty and should let ourselves grow no matter what the circumstances are at the moment or time. Take hold of our circumstances and against all odds find a way to shine. There is no instruction or list to follow, only finding creative ways to grow in what life hands us.

Shine!

Let's Fly

     2015. At the start of this first full week of the new year it is time to close the book on our old journies and start a new. Begin with a new thought process and new mind set. For me it's the beginning of new adventures. Jumping in with both feet into an adventure that has been on my heart for several years. Am I scared? Yes. But also excited to see where this will take me.  There is always those darned what if's looming out there but if I don't try I will never know and I need to know. This is my time, my window, my choice to take the chance. I have no clue how things will work out and will be flying by the seat of my pants but isn't that how life is? We never really know what life will give us. A bunch of choices and chances that we make or don't make all while flying by the seat of our pants. Giving it our best shot and reacting to the events that take place. Our choice on how we choose to react. One of my favorite quotes comes to mind by Erin Hanson .."What if I fall?..Oh but darling what if you fly?" I love this quote. You don't know if you will fall or fly until you try. So as we enter into this new year and look ahead into what might lay ahead of us, plan on flying. I do.